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The Black Stuff Script

Updated: Jul 1, 2020


After a long day of bad news, Anthony only wants a drink. Just when he thought the day couldn't get any worse, the downward spiral continues in this witty short film about The Black Stuff.


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EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

ANTHONY, 30, drags his feet down an empty street. His head

perpetually stuck looking at the ground.

He kicks a CIGARETTE PACK. He stops. His eyes open with

excitement. He runs to it. He shakes it. Nothing. He opens

it. Nothing.


ANTHONY

Fuck.


The sound of a door creaking open and slamming closed causes

him to turn around.

An imposing hulk of a SECURITY GUARD stares at Anthony with a

questioning look.


ANTHONY (CONT’D)

Long day.


The guard opens the door and motions for him to go inside.

Anthony cautiously steps towards the door.

INT. BAR

Anthony steps in.

A dimly lit bar. Not a soul in sight save the BARTENDER. He

walks up the bar and takes a seat. He continues to study the

area. He nods in approval.

The Bartender walks up to the Patron.


BARTENDER

What can I get for you?


ANTHONY

A glass of the Black Stuff and some

water.


BARTENDER

Coming right up.


He puts his hands in the pocket of his hoodie. HE pulls a

PINK SLIP.

Anthony crumples it up.


ANTHONY

Fuck that place!


The patron throws it at the TRASH CAN but misses.

Bartender comes back with Anthony’s drinks.

Anthony chugs the GLASS of black liquid. He then chugs the

GLASS of water in a few gulps.

The Bartender looks dumbfound. Anthony smiles back.


ANTHONY (CONT’D)

Can I get another one... and a pack

of smokes, please and thank you


Bartender nods their head.

People start to come into the bar and greet the barkeep

before sitting down. The regulars.

Anthony’s drink comes up withe PACK of CIGARETTES. He slams

down the drink and takes the smokes. He gets up and leaves

to...


INT. BAR RESTROOM

Anthony drys his hands under the blow dryer .

He rubs his hands against his pants. He starts to tap his

pockets. All of them. He put his hand in and pulls them out.

All of the pockets are empty.


ANTHONY

Where’s my wallet?


INT. BAR

He walks up to the bar and slams down the drink.

The Bartender is busy serving the other patrons their drinks.

He power walks to the exit.

The coast is clear... except for the Security Guard that

stands at the exit.


ANTHONY

Fuck!


He goes back to the bar and slams himself down on the stool.

His face with a worried look.


BARTENDER

We doing another, sweetie?


2.


He shakes his head no. He looks at the bartender. He shakes

his head yes.


ANTHONY

Yes, one more, please.


Bartender leaves. He looks around. Everyone is distracted.


ANTHONY (CONT’D)

Fuck it!


He gets up and starts to run away.

As the Bartender pours the drink they notice Anthony running.


BARTENDER

WE HAVE A RUNNER!

Anthony turns to look behind him.

The Bartender chases after them.

He looks ahead of him.

The security guard stands in front of him. The guard tackles

him to the ground.

BLACK

FADE IN:


INT. BAR KITCHEN - NIGHT

Anthony’s leg is CHAINED to the dishwasher. He washes away

as the Bartender comes up with a platter full of drinks.


BARTENDER


Another one?


ANTHONY

Yes, please


The Bartender hands the drink to Anthony. The barkeep walks

up to a WHITEBOARD and adds another tally under his name. He

has 7 tallies.

There are two other names next to his, those names are also

full of tallies.

Anthony turns to the person next to him. ERIC, 30.

Eric shrugs his shoulders


3.


ERIC

The bartenders are hot.


ANTHONY

Which ones?


ERIC

All of them


ANTHONY

Right on.


Anthony turns to the older looking man, HANK; 62.


HANK

I just came to use the bathroom 20

years ago.


The Bartender motions to the drinks. Eric and Hank reach for

their drinks.


HANK (CONT’D)

Thanks, love.


ERIC

Ditto.


A SHORT, LANKY MAN enters the kitchen; whistling. He looks at

what’s going on. The Bartender, with a sultry smile on her

face, offers him a beer.

He makes a crucifix with his fingers.

The bartender hisses


ANTHONY

Aww, fuck...


Eagle’s Hotel California starts to fade up.

FADE To BLACK.

CREDITS

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